A Colonoscopy Is Not Funny… Or Is It?

Willem Dafoe, Willem Dafoe, what’s so funny about the actor Willem Dafoe? What’s so funny…my wife is. Does she know Mr. Dafoe? No. Do I know him? No. What connection does he have to our family? Apparently, it is I.

Mr. Dafoe has had a long career in films often playing quirky, evil characters. Never a superstar, but he does work regularly in Hollywood films. When he and I were young, we looked nothing alike. He was gaunt, thin and wiry, while I was always full faced and a bit chunky. As he aged, the actor remained thin and gaunt and now has short gray hair. As I aged, I became thin and gaunt with a full head of short gray hair. People who know me for many years think we look nothing alike, probably because they “see” me as the old Bill. But people who meet me now for the first time, have no problem seeing the resemblance. What does all this have to do with funny? Please read on.

Recently I had a colonoscopy. This procedure is not so funny for the patient, but it usually generates a lot of jokes and humor from friends and acquaintances. My supportive wife drove me to the clinic and was in attendance before and after the procedure. As required, I had not eaten solid food for two days prior and I was in a weakened condition as I was rolled into the procedure room.

The room contained the usual complement of medical support personnel and the doctor performing the operation. Coincidently, they were all women. In comes this old, gaunt, thin, starving gray haired man on a gurney. I was not quite under from the drugs they had administered and could still converse as all seven looked down at me. One young nurse said to me,” Hey. You look like Willem Dafoe”. Of course, idle chit chat is the furthest thing from my mind as I anticipate what is about to happen to my little body. But I answer, “Oh. I see”. Of course the nurse passes this on to all those in attendance and they have to bat it around a bit as each one adds her own opinion about me and Dafoe. Fortunately, I dropped off to Never Never Land as the drugs kicked in.

Everything went well and I found myself coming to in a bed in the recovery area. There was my dear wife holding my hand along with the recovery nurse doing her post-op duties. The doctor who had just performed the procedure came by to give us the results (which were all good) and to complete some follow up details.

During her visit, the doctor turned to my wife and said, “Did you know that your husband looks like Willem Dafoe”?

My wife looked directly at the Doctor and responded,” Oh, really. Which end”?

Every other patient leaves the recovery room in a somber, vulnerable state. We left them laughing. Boy is my wife funny!

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Bill Christie is a member of the Writers Group at Village at Deaton Creek, an Active Adult Community. Bill is currently writing a murder mystery that takes place in an Active Adult Community.

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A Boomer Solution To Our Problems With Humor

There have been so many things written lately for boomers to do or not to do.  We should work past 65 years old, exercise to stay healthy, eat food to live to be 100, socialize more, take vacations, be good to our aging parents, help out our grown kids, take grand parenting classes and the list continues.  That is a lot on our plate but it has me going on this thinking thing.  First of all we need a quick fix.  After all time is limited!  Ready or not here is my solution….  I shall invent the Google Gollin, Face booking, Tweet twittering Exercise Treadmill.  It will go like this.

The new wonderful treadmill will make me rich fast.  It will come equipped with a large flat monitor on the treadmill that lays FLAT.  It will turn on immediately when you step up on the treadmill and hit start.   It will automatically go to ALL social media sites.  The screen will be very similar to the I Pad or I phone screen.  As you do your slower warm up then the pad will take you to a place that plays meditation music with the beauty of nature.

As your heart pumps faster then the screen will change to some great walking music tune from I tunes from Google+.  You can walk a mile in my shoes or dance the night away.  In addition,  just look at all that one could accomplish.  Just step up the beat a little faster and it will take you to places that you have never experienced like; a trip to Paris, site seeing in New York, or even an African safari.  Now if you really didn’t want to do that then you could WORK.  Yes, work!  Just imagine the things that you could do on the Internet.  You could write a blog, do customer service, advertise for your favorite charity, and even do a little preaching if you so choose.

Now of course if you were in the mood to get negative then you could tune into the latest news reports.  That might defeat the purpose of walking on the treadmill but then again who knows.  The news can really get my heart to pumping at times.  It would be a great place to work off the anger.

Of course there is always on line shopping.  Now with the holidays coming that could really save us a lot of time.  Also you could look up your favorite recipes. Then  you would be good to go.

Now for those of us that are dreaming of retirement, I suggest that you look at the site 55communityguide.com for a nice place to live.  Then if you are not into moving and just want to age in place then check out the senior centers in your area to learn, socialize, have fun and check out meals on wheels in case you become sick.  Now with all this new treadmill exercising I am sure that will not happen so maybe boomers it would be good to look up things for your parents.

After a good physical and mental workout of the my newly invented treadmill machine, you will feel marvelous!

Okay, so I have had a little bit of boomer humor here but why not.  It could make me rich.  You know though, I am already rich.  I am rich because I have love, life and you in my heart.  Now folks, why not add a comment and tell me what you have to be grateful for today?  I will start…  Workingboomer is grateful for a sense of HUMOR!  🙂

Facing Life With A Little Boomer Humor

As some of you know, I use humor to deal with some of life’s little irritations.  It works for me!  Today thus far was no exception.  I woke up at 4 a.m. today full of things to get done prior to my work night tonight.  I wanted to write a blog about city retirement and things to do in St. Louis, Missouri.  Obviously that has changed due to my mind going in too many other directions using humor.  I am determined to write though because one of the first things on my mind today was a song from the past, “You Are On My Mind.”  Yes, computer friends, I mean you, so I am going to share a little boomer humor.  This is how I used humor to change negative thought to positives in just a few hours.

  1. I bought a new hair color product to cover my gray roots.  Since I have a cosmetology license, I did not see a problem with this.  It was!  The new product had totally different ways to color white and gray.  I read the directions.  I followed them.  The results was dark brown.  The box said light vibrant red brown.  I wanted what the box said.  Well, I will be trying to enjoy my new look of dark brown.  Lesson learned, I say!  It will grow out.  If necessary, I will wear a cap or hat for six weeks.  There is no use to sweat the small stuff.
  2. I look forward to the Retirement Media Daily News Paper that comes out in the evening.  There was no paper last evening due to some problem on the computer.  You got it!  There was no paper this morning either.  No problem, I will have double to read when it does appear.
  3. I wanted to air out the apartment today with the fresh spring air.  I opened the patio doors.  There was no sunshine but a nice rain with chilly air.  Instantly my head started to pound because I have allergies.  The lawn folks cut the grass yesterday.  Again, no problem.  The patio doors are closed and my head ache is easing down underneath my dark brown hair.   It will make a great day to sleep before my midnight work shift tonight.
  4. Then I remembered there were a few things that I still needed from the store.  With umbrella in hand, I proceeded out the door to my car.  Now, I am here to let you know that traffic in the early a.m. should be avoided whenever possible.  Even more so on a rainy day at the end of a week when day folks are trying to get to work.  That is another lesson I learned this morning.  The lady saved the day that horned her truck horn at me when she almost hit my car.  Need I mention that I was sitting still and she was the one moving.  No auto repairs or injuries and that is good!
  5. Sweetie, my dog, was a wee bit disappointed about the rain too.  She wanted to chase rabbits but she does not like her feet wet.  All the better for me because I don’t like my head wet waiting for her to do her number in the early morning hours.  Yep, that was another positive turned to a negative.
  6. I saw that the gasoline prices went up again overnight.  One more penny and it will be at $4.oo a gallon.  Lucky me!  I didn’t need gas today.  Maybe it will go down again before my tank is empty.
  7. The clothes that I picked up at the laundry mat are in good shape, even though I managed to drop them in the wet grass. They were nicely hung on hangers in strong clear plastic.  Whoops!  That was close!  I am so glad that I don’t have to go back to laundry mat and do them all over again.  Now how is that for turning a negative drop to a positive thought.

I have had a lot of fun writing this blog even though it is light and a little off beat but so is life at times.  Remember as I always say; This too shall pass.  Life is getting too short to waste on the small things that we can not control.  Try and find something that you can laugh about each day!  Have you had a good BELLY LAUGH today?  Just try it because it feels good!

You have a choice, laugh or cry.  I hope that you share your laugh with us so that we all can laugh with each other. Need some more boomer humor.