As a divorced working female boomer it is not easy. It is on the news but I prefer to be grateful. I am grateful that both my children were able to get educations, find good jobs, and have nice homes. For me, I had those things and some left for various reasons, just like it may have happened to you. Last year it appeared some things were making a turn for the better. I started dreaming of retirement. I finally was working on a plan. I became familiar and involved with Retirement Social Media. I have had the privilege of learning so much about boomers, seniors, retirement, living, health, socialization and much more on the sites. I set goals to become debt free. Then I became interested in living in a senior apartment. I signed up for a few senior apartment waiting lists. I visited my area senior center and was eager to get started with them on a healthy exercise program, socialization and fun activities. I looked into early social security benefits. I sent in an early job transfer form for a lesser paying job that I heard would be coming available where I worked. I would have been working 9 months a year, off in the summer time, and off all week ends. This would have been wonderful and a dream come true. As May approached my debts, were paid and the plans were coming together when IT happened along with the problems of the economy.
If you have been reading my previous blogs you may know some of the ITS but not all. It is time to share. The week that May 12Th of 2011 fell in, I found there would be no 9 month position. In addition, I had a heart attack and quad bi pass surgery. I had to miss my only granddaughter’s senior graduation due to the heart surgery. My youngest daughter ended a marriage. I lived on a credit card for three months, so needless to say there is no more debt free. Most of my family have passed, and friends too, so I have learned to really feel what lonliness is all about during my recovery period. Enough of the negative, this is just what happened.
Now onward to some positive. My daughter has found new love. I hear I will be blessed in March with a new grandchild. I still have a great employer and work with some wonderful people. My health insurance is excellent. I have had the opportunity to mend a relationship with my one and only older sister, My unhealthy smoking habit has been replaced with eating healthy foods. Yes, I have been smoke FREE for almost four months after having that habit for almost thirty-five years. Being a person that enjoys meditation, I visited a place yesterday to get involved in yoga and meditation classes. I have researched prescription options and insurance costs. My relationship with my medical doctor has taken on a new meaning. It is filled with respect and gratitude for his honestly. His staff, as I have always known them, are wonderful caring people. I even love his dog Cody who acts as his therapy assistant animal during his office hours. Cody brings joy and a smile to face. My doctor understands that I am one that needs TO KNOW in order to make decisions so he has been honest and very frank with me.
My doctor took the time to explain each detail of my surgery, expectations, and all the facts on my last visit. He showed his compassion and caring. It renewed my faith in the medical profession, knowing there are still physicians like him still out there. I was able to trust enough to allow my physician to be the one to help me get through some of my grief stages, for you see, ALL of this was new and unexpected to me. My world felt as though it had fell apart. From there I was able to begin sharing feelings with a couple of co-workers. Then this past Saturday night, I saw a trusted friend at a 7 eleven store and was able to share with this person. More important, I was able to listen to the words the person said to me and believe them. He said, “Ann, you know you still have a purpose, you are strong and I just want you to know how much you mean to me.” It was a brief interaction but an interaction that I needed. Yes, I NEEDED TO KNOW.
Today it was 103 degrees in St. Louis. There are some complications with swelling which could cause a blood clog. There is still a lot of pain in the chest from a broken breast bone. It may be time to consider early retirement with no healthcare benefits for my health. Maybe I need to know. It may be time to socialize with the seniors at the center and meet some new friends. I want to know. It may be time to face up to fears and walk through to get to a more fulfilled life on the other side. What will happen? I do not need to know because I am human not that powerful. I am in a new place of learning to trust and love myself enough to say, ” I really do not know but what I know is just this, “It will be just as IT is suppose to Be. I still have a Purpose.”
Remember that sometimes you will only know when you need to know but the important thing is, You CAN START TAKING ACTION NOW because it is never too late to learn if you do not already know. You too have a purpose which someday you will know if you do not already know!
Originally posted 2011-09-02 15:52:45.
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