Building Healthy Relationships In Today’s World

We boomers have known many relationships in our time.  There are relationships with family, co workers, neighbors, partners, business associates, health care professionals and even those that we meet on Face book and other social media sites.  Then we have a spiritual relationship and even a relationship with our very own being.  Relationships are different.  People are different.  Relationships can be complicated, rewarding, stressful, pleasant, positive or negative.  Bottom line; healthy relationships are necessary in order to feel good, know peace and be successful in our everyday living regardless of circumstances outside of ourselves.

This is a difficult subject for me to write about because I spent many years in unhealthy relationships so I am no expert on the topic, but I do have wisdom.  With that wisdom, I am in a continuing process of living, laughing, loving and learning.  Today I choose to have healthy relationships.  The four L’s are very important as I try to balance my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional self.  It takes work but the work is necessary to our overall health and well being.  With that said, I would like to share a wonderful experience that I have had with Robert Fowler the owner of Retirement Media.  I have never met Robert nor his beautiful wife MA but I think of them as close friends that have given me more than they will ever know.  It is time to say thank you and share some of my own personal secrets with him and you, my friends.  This is how I learned to develop an online working, positive, rewarding relationship with a person that is totally different from me,a person that I have never met.  This is the story and how it brought joy into my life. Robert, alka Mr. Fowler, this is HOW YOU AND MA INSPIRED MY LIFE by giving me the opportunity to practice building a healthy working relationship on line in today’s world! My reward has been great online friends that helped me with my PURPOSE, by living, laughing, loving and learning as we shared our thoughts, feelings and stories.

It began in November of 2010 as I commented on a post on Retirement Media Face Book where I was looking around dreaming of a retirement home on 55communityguide.com.   Up popped this Dude, yes I say Dude, named Robert. Dude is what I have called him a number of times whether HE  liked it or not.  lol  I disagreed with something he said about social security on his site.  Well, I was right, so being my usual, let’s get this right self, I commented.  So this Dude Robert, thanked me.  Yes, he thanked me instead of getting angry.  🙂  Then he even asked me to help him on the site since I had been a consistent commenter.  “Sure”, I thought to myself.  My mind took off with it’s distrusting self, for you see, I had had some bad experiences before in my earlier years of life on line.  The committees in the mind said, “What’s HE wanting?  Who is this ____?  Now does HE, Robert, really think that I am DUMB enough to believe that he owns this place?  Why would HE, Robert, need my help since HE is smart and I am not THAT educated?  Hec, I can’t write.  I am not even computer smart.  It must be a stalker. The Dude, doesn’t even have a pic of his face on this Retirement Media Face book.”  Wow what a trip those committees of the mind took me on since I had not even one little bit of trust left after my negative experience of relationship building on line from years long ago.  Now keep in mind friends that I am writing this for the first time and Robert has no idea that I had all those thoughts. The truth will set you free, I always say… 🙂

To make a long story short, I meditated for a couple of days then agreed.  “Why not? Robert appeared sincere and willing to teach me,” I thought to myself.  “Teach me?  You got to be kidding,” the mind jumped out in full blown negative mode again. 🙁  So our relationship began.  I learned Face booking, tweet twittering, blogging, and google golining.  He, Robert, continued to show respect, kindness, concern, patience, caring while I did everything possible to ruffle his feathers. 🙂  I wrote on his face book site about making chicken and dumplings, my sonic toothbrush and even napping.  Now when I wrote about the importance of a good nap for health I forgot to include the link.  Did Robert get mad or belittle me?  NO, he did not!  He just came back with that calm manner and wrote, “Ann, I need the link because I want to learn more about napping.”  Then there was the time when he had a problem seeing at night while driving so I filled him in on glare proof glasses.  Yes, I did.  Did he get mad?  No!  Then the blogging started.  I could write, but I didn’t know anything about blogging so I just let him know up front, “Robert, I am NOT linking, making pictures and YOU  have to edit.  Did he get mad?  NO!  Instead he welcomed the chance for us to work with each other as we both learned.  Then  I challenged him to a blog, which was, in my opinion, the best one ever!  He shared his experience about a humorous fishing trip with MA.  I found myself ROFL.  It was great!  I could always visualize MA sitting quietly in the background, with her sweet smile, shaking her head but being supportive of Robert’s new adventure with working with Working Boomer.

Now on a more serious note, MA and Robert touched my heart.  They were there with me in spirit as I rode in the ambulance for my emergency heart surgery.  Robert gave me my first and only birthday party on Retirement Media Face book.  He sent me books through the mail for my reading and learning pleasure, not knowing that it was my first time to receive gifts in the mail.  He and MA were there at Christmas time on line and they made my Christmas with a gift from their hearts which brought tears to my eyes as I cried with gratitude.  I spent that Christmas alone but I had my dear friends MA and Robert Fowler in my heart.  He gave me the opportunity to learn, laugh, live and experience the feeling of love for friends that I had not even met.  Robert gave me the opportunity to write and express myself by finding my voice.  Most important of all Robert and MA helped me build confidence and a healthy relationship with friends like you.  Robert gave me the opportunity to express my gratitude for senior centers and resource for senior apartments, low income housing, and beautiful pictures to view on his sites.   I put no human being on a pedestal but I can express my gratitude for the laughter, love, and learning that this work relationship brought to me.

So friends, as you continue your journey in life always remember to live, love, laugh and learn while you can.  Working Boomer will be retiring the name Working Boomer but she will always remember her experience and be grateful for the friends that she has met on line through Retirement Media.  She might stop into Boomer Places now and then to share a story and say, HOWDY FRIENDS..

Thank you Robert Fowler as you continue to spread the love and experiences that you have to share during the rest of your Baby Boomer years.  Much love, joy, success and peace to all of you as you continue building healthy relationships in your journey of life.  Always remember to face life with your head held high, be proud of who you are and never pass up a chance to live, love, laugh and learnPeace be with you all, my dear on line friends.

Originally posted 2012-06-20 20:35:55.

Boomers Stop Chasing Your Tail

Book review of Dr. Wayne Dyer writings about finding happiness. Good advice for Boomers.

Dr. Wayne Dyer

This is a post from the past which has a timeless message. Each day I find it is necessary to meditate. Meditation brings inner peace.  One of my favorite authors is Dr. Wayne Dyer.  Dr. Dyer was born May 10,1940 in Detroit, Michigan.  He spent the first 10 years of his life in foster homes and orphanages.

Today Dr Dyer is a motivation speaker, author, therapist and an self help guru.  Dr. Dyer is the father of eight children and resides with his family in Maui Hawaii.

Dr. Dyer has compared happiness as something being in one’s tail.  Dr. Dryer says, “Don’t chase Happiness, it will find you.  love who you are.”  Don’t be like a cat.  Stop chasing your tail.  Dr. Dyer says,” live life as you want not as others want you to live.”  People will have different opinions of how you should be but more importantly is that you love who you are.  Hang strong and enjoy inner peace.

The message is clear: Allow happiness to find you.  Stop the rat race of chasing.  Enjoy the moment!

My favorite quote by Dr. Dyer is, “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the Floor.  It’s to enjoy each step along the way.”  Dr. Dyer says, ” How people treat you is their karma, how you react to it is yours.”

Boomer Living

Boomer life can give you the feeling of being  pressured and stressed.  In addition to everyday life such as Doctors appointments, medicare, discovering new wrinkles, loss of a friend, children having problems, etc.   It is still important to do a self check.  Enjoy the moment and Stop chasing your tail.

Book review- by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Originally posted 2013-04-19 23:51:51.

A Story OF Love From The Heart Of WorkingBoomer

Sixty-two years ago I was born as a change of life baby on December 23,1948 to my parents who did not expect me to happen.  My mother was in her 40’s and my father in his 50’s.  Most of my childhood life was spent with older people.  Today I find myself as one of those people sitting here on Christmas eve. thinking about you and thinking about me.  Yes, I said you, the Boomer Generation of people.

There is snow on the ground.  Outside my door it is very quiet as though for just a few moments the world is still and at peace.  Some are with families.  Some are sitting with that special husband or wife.  Some are playing with their grandchildren.  Some are traveling to other places to visit friends. Some are sitting alone. Others are preparing meals to share with their love ones tomorrow.  Some may be watching television, reading a book, playing a game on the computer, waiting for a telephone call, wrapping a present, or ending a day of work.  There are some like police officers, fireman, health care workers, security people, truck drivers and etc. that may be working tonight and might be working tomorrow.

There are boomers that might be in nursing homes, hospitals, and even some in far away lands helping to keep our country safe.  Others might be volunteering their time in homeless shelters and even some boomers might be homeless.  Some boomers may have had children others may not.    Some may be blessed with riches and fame.  Then there are some who have very little and their pockets might me empty.  Some may have high educations and others little or no education.  Some may be sitting around a warm fireplace while others may be wishing for a warm fire.

In all of this there is somethings that we share in common.  We have a story.  We have a heart that can be prepared to forgive.  We have gained much wisdom.  We have experienced a lot.  We have made some kind of a mark on the world as it is today.  We can believe.  Some may be able to sing while others may only be able to smile.  Some like me might have a desire to write and share what I am feeling in my heart.

Tonight I think of you.  Tonight I think of me.  Tonight I want to reach out and give each one of you a hug.  Tonight if I was powerful enough, I would give you peace, love, joy, comfort, health, wealth, and a world filled with peace but I am not that powerful.  I do have the ability to write.  I do have the ability to feel.  I do have the ability to show compassion.  I do have the ability to care for others.  I do have the ability through this writing to let you know how special I believe that each and everyone one of you are.  No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, no matter how you are feeling let it be known that tonight someone has thought of YOU.    We are one.  We are the people of the world.

Originally posted 2010-12-25 15:04:48.

Boomers, Have You Shared A Smile Today?

Boomers are uniting in different causes to assist and help others. By doing this some are expressing a more fulfilled life. Boomers are being creative and getting involved in ways to change not only their lives, but the lives of others.

There have been articles written about boomers volunteering while finding their purpose.  Many are uniting in different causes to assist and help others.  By doing this some are expressing a more fulfilled life.  Boomers are being creative and getting involved in ways to change not only their lives, but the lives of others.  It is as though our hands are uniting as one.  Some people are touching lives in large ways and some in small.  The important thing is that they are doing it!  More and more I notice this going on around me, as I am out in public places.  It seems like I notice this a lot at my local grocery store.  I will share what I heard from my grocery store trip this week.

As I was standing in line to check out, the cashier, who appeared to be boomer age, was talking with the customer in front of me.  She was telling the customer about a motivational seminar that she had attended at the St. Louis Cervantes Center the day before.  At the center she had heard motivational speakers share their experiences. One speaker told stories of how folks united during 9-11.  The cashier had really been touched by the stories that she heard.  The customer in front of me, enjoyed the story and begin to smile.  It was good to see a boomer bringing a smile to another’s face.

Then it was my turn to check out.  The older gentleman bagging my groceries was listening attentively.  I began to share with the cashier about how I write stories on boomerplaces.com.  I also was able to tell her about my interest in helping others during my retirement age years.  She said, “I have been thinking about when my day comes to retire, but for today I am trying to find my purpose.”  Bingo, I thought to myself.  She had just expressed the magic word, PURPOSE! I then suggested a couple of books that I had read regarding the subject.  She wrote the names down and thanked me.

My groceries were bagged and it was time to be on my way.  The elderly lady behind me continued the conversation with the cashier as they both smiled.  The gentleman that had bagged my groceries was now smiling. He followed me out of the store to gather up grocery carts.  He appeared to have a new spring in his step as he offered his assistance to a couple of boomer age ladies.

I thought to myself, ” So this is how it is done.  Just a simple smile, a positive comment, and a small offer of help can begin the process of each of us finding our purpose as we share with each other!  It is one life touching that of another, one hand helping and each person showing interest in fellow human beings.

One never knows how a smile, a positive comment, a show of respect or interest might just be that one thing that will turn into that big purpose that will change the world.

Originally posted 2011-04-29 20:28:50.

Your Feelings Do Count

It appears that lately, I have been writing a lot about feelings, which is true. I have. Our feelings are a natural process of our thoughts and intentions. They can be negative or positive. Feelings should not be ignored but must not overtake us to the point that we feel paralyzed by them.

It appears that lately, I have been writing a lot about feelings, which is true.  I have.

Our feelings are a natural process of our thoughts and intentions.  They can be negative or positive.  Feelings should not be ignored but must not overtake us to the point that we feel paralyzed by them.  I am not a physician, psychologist, clergy or a person with a degree in feelings.  The one thing that I am is human and you are too if you are reading this blog.  Feelings are something that we all have and deal with in life.  Many articles have been written about feelings therefore always remember that they are important.  As human beings we must pay attention to our feelings.  Denying them will do no good.  Feelings have a way of manifesting themselves in many ways.  By paying attention to them we can find ways to lessen pain and make changes from negative to positive or accept what is in our life.  For me writing is the best way that I can begin to get my feelings out in the open and put them into perspective.  Until I have done this, I do not feel peace.  It is a wonderful thing to know that peace can be regained when we are willing to work toward it.  Hopefully by sharing some thoughts with you, you will be inspired to love yourself and know that your feelings are important in order to know peace.

First, I will say that you are not alone.  Also being truthful with ourselves is not always easy. It takes practice.  Sometimes it may be necessary to feel pain in order to do the work needed to regain peace.  Remember, it is our thinking that gets us into trouble.  We need to get our thoughts back on the right track.  You are not less than or more than, you are you.  No one likes to admit that they are not perfect but for me that is the first step.  When I become uncomfortable enough it becomes easier. So here it goes.  I am doing it now with your help as you read and I write.

  1. If you are physically sick, tired, lonely, or any other negative emotion then admit it.  I have been the greatest offender of saying, “Oh, it is a beautiful day, I should not feel this way.” I am here to tell you the weather is not the problem.  Maybe you are over worked, grieving a loss or missing a love one.  Get honest! Then and only then can you get control of your thoughts and take the steps necessary to feel better.
  2. When I was a child my parents taught me to always say NO when offered a treat, gift or something.  I can remember putting on a false smile, pushing back the tears and wanting so bad to say yes.  I know today that I was taught false pride.  Not only that, I was cheating another person out of the good feel of giving. Practice changing old tapes in your head and replace them with healthy ones.  It is okay to trust.
  3. There was a time when I worked two jobs and gave one hundred and fifty per cent at both of them.  As some of you do, I then had to have the cleanest house, the manicured lawn and everything in its correct place.  I denied that I needed rest and put everyone else before me.  Relax, it is okay to not be super human.
  4. As a child I was lead to believe that I was suppose to love everyone but it was not important if I was not loved.  It is important!  BELIEVE that you are loving and deserve love.

Your feelings are important.  They are sending you a message.  Listen closely to them.  Write them down.  Talk to someone about them.  Own them.  Get help if you need it.  Do not deny them.  Take charge!  Be the special person that you really are and know PEACE! If or when they get out of order keep practicing and each time it will become easier because not only will you love yourself, you will love PEACE.

By the way, thank you!  Writing did really help and I hope to read what you have to write.  🙂

Originally posted 2011-06-28 21:23:26.

An Age to Be Grateful Not Just On Thanksgiving

I have noticed some of my friends in the ages around the late 50s to early 60s talking more about being grateful. In my own life I am doing the same. There must be something about being more grateful as we age.

An Age To Be Grateful Not Just on Thanksgiving

be grateful not just on Thanksgiving

I have noticed some of my friends in the ages around the late 50s to early 70s talking more about being grateful.  In my own life I am doing the same.  There must be something about being more grateful as we age.

It could be we are reflecting more on all the people we have known, the places we have been and the accomplishments and events in our lives.  What a life each of us has had up to this point in time!

There are many people we can be thankful for in our lives.  Think of the people who were your friends at work who you shared lunch time with.  Your colleagues who shared with you, instructed you, who volunteered their time for association meetings as maybe you did too.

Think of your parents who fed and took care of you and sacrificed so your life would be better than theirs.  Think back about other family members like brothers and sisters we shared so much of our lives with, aunts and uncles who gave us presents and cared about us.  Some of these family members are no longer with us. We probably didn’t tell them at the time but we are now grateful for them.

Think of all the places you have been in your life and all the things you have been fortunate enough to experience.   Some of us have traveled to other countries, other states, the nation’s capital, the great Western US, or our National Parks.  Maybe you had the experience of attending a World Series, the Super Bowl, Kentucky Derby, the Olympics, Indy 500, a Broadway Play, or the Petit LeMans.  I am sure you will remember any of those great events and be grateful you made that part of your life.  Maybe it was attending a play at your local high school, your church meetings, or volunteering.  Then maybe you now recognize that life is a journey and simple things like sitting under a shade tree, sitting by a stream,  people watching, or visiting the senior center are all things to be grateful for.

Think of all the things you have accomplished in your life and how grateful you are for them.  These may include raising a family, a happy marriage, your education,  sports or music, a career, a trade or skill you learned really well.  This list could go on but I am betting if you really think about it you are grateful for the opportunity you had to participate in each of these accomplishments.

Now in our everyday life we are becoming more grateful for people we run into like the cashier who smiles and chats with us, the friend who calls and invites us to lunch, a spouse who stays by our side, service workers who wait on our table, clean the hospital and keep this world going.  We can show our appreciation by saying thank you, tipping, holding the door open for people and generally recognizing and showing respect to everyone.

My Thanksgiving challenge to you is As we go through life from this point forward we shall live in the present and recognize every experience, person and place we come across in our lives is something to be grateful for.  All things big and small is to be appreciated.  Showing  gratitude helps too.  This in turn will make us happier and our lives more fulfilled.

So in the spirit of Thanksgiving take some time to think back on all the things you are grateful for.  Maybe this post will jog your memory.

Originally posted 2018-11-21 11:33:18.